I'm not sure what is holding me back, but I need a change... change in body/health (working on that), change in money (not sure about that/see next needed change), change in career (stalling with that)... I am having trouble visualizing and getting the necessary momentum required to do things the right way.
When I am truly determined, I am a throw myself into things type gal. I don't mean the type of determination it takes to loosely follow a diet - I can do that all day with no results, because I'm not truly committed. When motivated, I have determination that gets it done. But I'm a perfectionist, and that leads to both procrastination and quitting in some cases. In other cases, that means all go and no quit... to a detriment. Two different examples: 1) I just started running again after doing 6 weeks of boot camps. I am in better shape, but by no means great shape. Being excited to try running again, I overdid it. Now I have to take a step back and slow down. Otherwise I'll get shin splints and make my plantar fasciitis worse! 2) Last night I decided to start cleaning off the elliptical machine. Instead of taking everything off and then cleaning, I have to micro-manage the entire thing and slowly clean bits and pieces. And I still didn't get it done! Oy vey!
I need a maid, chef and personal organizer. Alas, I will have to figure it out for myself, but how...?... :)